My Satisfying, Solitary Life

For those who have been wondering, here is what my life is like currently. I am quite content. I have found it necessary to trim my life down to essential functions. Having done so, I feel happy with it. The only problem--or is it a problem?--is that my life is quite different from the lives of most people.

I scarcely leave my house. I try very hard to walk in the afternoons with my husband. I love his company and it is a good feeling to be out in nature, but it is very hard to get out the door. I continue to struggle with balance in this. Every week my husband takes me grocery shopping. We go to a small store with which I am very familiar, and, since he is with me, I enjoy the trip. It feels good to take care of the food needs of my family. Every week I consider attending church, but I become unhealthfully anxious just thinking about it, and I stay home. Recently I was able to take the Holy Sacrament in my home, and I wept for the tender mercies of the Lord. I hope that, while I continue to be ill, I can take the blessed bread and water at home with some regularity.

Visits from non-family members tend to make me feel anxious and frightened, but I love to be surrounded by family. Holding a baby is most therapeutic, and there is nothing I like better than a happy two-year-old. I love visiting with sons and daughters and I absolutely cherish time with my husband. Life doesn't get much better than sitting on the couch with him eating warm chocolate pudding as we watch a classic old movie.

My daily routine is to feast on the scriptures and to quilt, quilt, quilt. I am going to make some quilts to sell so that I can afford better to buy the beautiful fabric I so love. Creativity is healing. I feel good when I am making quilts. I buy the things I need online, with an occasional trip to a local store--accompanied by my husband--to buy thread when I run out.

I have been counseled by my psychologist to keep my life simple and to avoid stress as much as I can, as it makes me ill to be in anxiety-producing situations. He said to me one day, "You don't have to do anything." It felt to me as if my loving Heavenly Father was speaking directly to me through this kind and wise man. The Lord knows the desires of my heart. I have felt his approval and love again and again through this solitary time. I feel it is right to just go with it for now, even though it is different than the lives led by others.

Crazy for My Own Crazy Quilt

I tried a bit of everything on this one: free-form quilting, quilting on lines drawn on, quilting with lines in the fabric. It's sort of my sampler quilt, and I just love it. I feel happy to wake up under it in the morning.

I Spy a Birthday Boy Quilt

Please Come for a Visit

If you are reading this post at Google Reader, I invite you to come and see the changes at my site. (If you have not yet subscribed to Google Reader, I encourage you to give it a try. [Thanks again, Chris, for setting me up.])

Naptime Pillow for My Valentine

Bipolar Stories

I found this collection of video clips at the BBC site. I have not experienced everything described, of course, but I found much with which I could identify in these accounts from others who have Bipolar Disorder, as I do. Please take the time to understand better what this illness is like for those of us who live with it by clicking on the link here, and viewing (or listening to) these short clips. Thanks.

Good Morning

It is no small comfort to me to wake up under a pile of homemade quilts. I love it.

More Shots of Annie's Garden Quilt

I'm grateful for this fabric collection, supplemented by others, for making this quilt so lovely to look at. I hope it helps Ann to have peaceful naps and comfy movie-breaks.

Helpful Practices and Things

I am beginning to feel better, and I am cautiously optimistic that depression may be lifting. I have learned that I need to keep my life very simple and infused with goodness. Here are some of my helpful practices and things:

Immersing myself in beauty, from such things as lovely fabrics, quilts, good writing, and nature.
Grocery shopping with a list to lessen decision-making in a stressful environment.
Doing necessary local shopping at small, familiar stores during off hours.
Letting the phone take messages instead of answering every call.
Staying in contact with friends through email.
Visiting with family.
Online shopping.
One-dish meals.
Old movies.
Chocolate.
Prayer.
Love.

A Mother's Expression of Gratitude

Ann Palizzi posted a tender letter on Kristy Ragsdale's blog today. Here is the link.

Annie's Garden Quilt

Inspirational Quilts and Fun Fabrics

Feeling very low again today, I coped by doing much window-shopping and day-dreaming at my favorite online fabric store, the FatQuarterShop. (Their service is great--very speedy.) Then, this evening, I found Hillary Lang's slide show on Flickr. Great inspiration for what to do with the fabrics I already have. Hope you enjoy browsing as much as I did today. I find it keeps me emotionally afloat like little else can do.

How blessed we are to have access to so many beautiful things through the Internet.