The Soap and Pepper Response

A loved one went through a rough time recently, and witnessing it taught me a new lesson. I had long been aware of the soap and pepper response. There is a science experiment wherein you sprinkle pepper into a bowl of water. The pepper floats randomly over the surface until the experimenter sticks the tip of a piece of soap into the water. In an instant, the pepper flees. It shoots to the sides of the bowl, leaving the tip of soap alone in the center, with a ring of pepper all around.

Such an effect happens with people, too. People with problems can be like the soap, and their friends and neighbors like the pepper. I once saw it happen with a prominent member of our community, whose life had been suddenly and publicly revealed as one weighty with woes. Mere days after the revelations, in a great room full of associates, he looked just like the piece of soap, all alone in the center of a distant ring of people. It was a striking image. The soap and pepper response was clearly evident.

I got a new insight about all of this this week, however, watching what happened with my loved one. As she struggled and blogged about some difficult challenges, I saw that she was somewhat in the center of the soap and pepper response. It looked all-too-familiar to me.

But, then came the lesson. What happened as soon as she was through the worst of her dark time was heartening. Once she was able to mix in just a little better, friends rushed from all around to give her what amounted to a verbal group hug. It was as if they had been waiting, eager to run in.

Pepper does not flee of its own choice in the experiment. It has something to do with surface tension. Eventually the soap dissolves and mixes with the water, the tension is lessened, and the pepper floats all over the surface again. And now, I am thinking that people don't pull back from a person in need because they choose to, either. For whatever the reason, for the most part they feel paralyzed and unable to move in any closer. Once the chemistry is altered, and they can move in, they do, and often with a great outpouring of love.